Tag: mind-body-&-soul

A Story About…Overflowing

A Story About…Overflowing

A Story about …Overflowing …and who’s in your corner? A river, on the whole, is a great example of personal growth and development. It carves its way through the landscape, growing slowly, making small changes in its path to obstacles that it comes up against. […]

A Story About…”You do you hun”

A Story About…”You do you hun”

  A story about “You do you hun” …. what anchors you when the expectation to conform conflicts with your authenticity? I’ve seen this phrase is being used on social media in a derogatory manner. And quite frankly it makes me cross. As someone who […]

A Story About…The Voice In Your Head

A Story About…The Voice In Your Head

A Story About…The Voice In Your Head

What does the voice in your head tell you?

Is it helpful or unhelpful stuff?
The Internal Voice can be very convincing!

No, don’t be stupid
You are rubbish at
You can’t do
You’re not good enough to
You’re not worth that
Nobody will listen to you saying that
You’ll never be able to…
You’re too (insert derogatory words) to

OR

Don’t rock the boat
People won’t like it/you if
It will be too disruptive to

OR

I won’t try that because I might fail
I won’t do that as it will go wrong
There’s no point because

I’m sure you could add some more!

We can beat ourselves up without even trying. That Internal Voice can be pretty vocal in its opinions.
Those opinions can easily influence the actions we take (or don’t take).

That internal voice is loud and shouty for a reason.

Our brain is hardwired to keep us safe i.e. alive!
After all, what we have always done and the way we have always done it hasn’t killed us yet so it must be the right thing to do.

That Internal Voice gets loud and shouty as soon as that safety feels threatened.

Safe does not mean we are achieving our dreams and purpose.

So what can we do to quieten that shouty Internal Voice, we can crack on with the stuff we want/need to do?

Here’s a few suggestions that I’ve found useful.

  • Be Kind – Treat The Voice like you would a close friend. Give it a name if you want to.
  • Opinion – Let The Voice shout. Let it have it’s opinion. By listening rather than ignoring, The Voice will feel heard. And by listening it can give you a clue to the way through to achieve what you want.
  • Plan – When we organise, process and break it up into small chunks it is easier for the Internal Voice to handle.
  • Reason – Having a powerful reason for the challenging action can help persuade The Voice that it’s an essential action to take to feel safe and worth the risk.
  • Counter argue – Providing The Voice with a worse case scenario if the action doesn’t happen can help sway it in your favour.
  • Reassure – Providing evidence that the new situation is going to be beneficial and positive will calm that pesky voice.
  • Rephrase – Rephrase the objections from The Voice using language that has positive focus. Replacing words like Can’t/Don’t/Shouldn’t with Can/Will/Shall.
  • Breathe then Jump – Feel the fear and do it anyway. And then celebrate doing it. The brain will hunt for more of what we tell it. So by Doing and Celebrating it’s showing The Voice that we are ok, still alive and can do that again!

And finally,

Practice – The more we practise the process of moving through the doubting shouty Internal Voice obstacle, the easier it gets. And the more fun stuff we get to do. So keep practising!

What does your Voice shout? And how do you move through it?

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Group, Online or 121 Memberships – what works for you best? You choose. PM me for a chat to find your best solution.

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A Story About…Health

A Story About…Health

A story about…..Health is for life not just for January ???? January is a time when lots of people make decisions to change many aspects in their lives. Gyms see the impact of this as their membership number goes up.???? ????????But being healthy is so […]

A Story About…Rainbows

A Story About…Rainbows

A Story About Rainbows … and sun rises and sun sets. I a rainbow. I also love a sunset and a sun rise. (Although the latter is more of a struggle for me to see in the summer. One great silver lining to those short […]

A Story About…Real Life

A Story About…Real Life

How do you cope when plans change?

????We know it’s good to have a plan. We know everything has a better chance of happening with a plan behind it. The project at work, the day trip with the kids, the diet and exercise plan….

❓ But what happens when Real Life kicks in? When your boss changes their mind, when the kids get sick, when you accidentally fall into a plate of muffins ?????

It happens to us all, sometimes through no cause of our own, sometimes not! We know that even the best laid plans can be subject to change!

So what can we do?

  1. Throw our toys out of the cot and refuse to have anything more to do with the plan
  2. Decide the plan is ruined for now but we can come back to it later, Monday, sometime…
  3. Look at what we can rescue from the plan and move on

Hopefully you’re thinking “Option No.3 please Sara”. After all we are grown ups and this is the grown up way. Hard when your inner toddler or teenager is kicking off inside!

So here’s how I go about handling a plan change like an adult (hopefully, mostly)

  1. Breathe: deep breaths and count to 10 (or whatever number you need to) to let the inner self calm down a bit. The equivalent of the naughty step!
  2. Assess: Is it as bad as you thought? What happened? What part did you play? Who else is affected? Do we need Plan A ver.2 or Plan B?
  3. Learn: What can you take away from this? How can you help it to go more smoothly next time? What can you do differently?
  4. Action: Consciously choose to take positive action. Decide on the new plan and then DO IT! Do not wait, procrastinate, debate anymore. Don’t wait for Monday! Keep moving forward!
  5. Let it go: Make like Disney and don’t hold on to anything you can’t change! (Apologies for putting that tune into your head!) Life is too short for guilt, what if’s and worrying about stuff you cant change.

We make plans for a reason. Generally because we want to achieve something. Don’t let Real Life scupper your plans whatever they are. Take time, use your brain and make conscious choices.

When the shit hits the fan, don’t spend any longer than necessary cleaning up. Get it done and move on!

Much more productive than a tantrum!

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Group, Online or 121 Memberships – what works for you best? You choose. Contact me for a chat to find your best solution.

A Story About…The Chair

A Story About…The Chair

❓Do you have an object which is an essential part of your business? The Chair has had some more repairs recently … the piping was coming away and it led me to think about how valued it is by visitors to The Shed … A […]

A Story About…Individuality

A Story About…Individuality

????What does individuality mean to you? I am a firm believer that individuality is vital for a thriving life. For you and all around you. I believe in this so much, it is the foundation of how I work. Too much of our lives can […]

A Story About…Compliments

A Story About…Compliments

A Story About … Compliments

How do you respond when someone compliments you?

“I am awesome”

It’s a statement I have been told by many of my superstar ???? clients.

It’s a statement I now use and completely own.

It can have an interesting impact from the people who hear me say it.

Cocky, arrogant, egotistical are some of the words used.

Also “you can’t say that about yourself” and “we’re not meant to blow our own trumpet. It’s rude”.

Saying nice things about yourself out loud is not acceptable to some it seems. ‘Boasting’ is a big sin, apparently.

So it’s not surprising that when someone says nice things ABOUT us TO us we struggle to accept or believe them.

I read a post on social media where a brilliant and genuine individual was uncomfortable receiving a thank you because “I didn’t think I had done much, I was just doing my job!”

They also asked the question “When was the last time one of your clients thanked you for a job well done and do you take it for granted?

My response?

Often and never! To answer your question ????

To receive a compliment is a gift. Accepting with grace is the way to show you value their gift.

When we accept it gracefully it tells our brains that we are worth that compliment. The more we accept the more it reinforces that value of ourselves.

The beauty is, when we start accepting the thanks, we don’t have to believe for it to start making the internal changes.

Before you know it, you are valuing the impact of your skills on others as much as they do ????

It is possible to own your awesomeness.  It is very acceptable for you to do so ????

I know I am awesome at what I do because my clients tell me so.

If I did not accept this I’m saying all of them are lying and I am right.

Isn’t this the most disrespectful response? Both to them and to myself?

The greatest gift for me is to see others finally own their awesomeness and accept my compliments to them with grace and self confidence ????

It is reward in itself to see someone accept a genuine compliment. It can leave positive ripples through their (and your) day.

How do you respond to a compliment?

And if you want help finding and accepting your awesome, you know where to come ????

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Group, Online or 121 Memberships – what works for you best? You choose. Contact me for a chat to find your best solution.

A Story About…Fun

A Story About…Fun

A Story About … Fun (and the gym and our favourite hobbies) To be quite honest with you, there are things I like doing more than going to the gym to train. This, I think, is quite a common feeling. I get it. Training can […]