Tag: updates

A Story About… Best Laid Plans

A Story About… Best Laid Plans

How do you deal with a big change in what you had carefully planned? At the weekend we were meant to plant our hedge. The trench was dug in readiness last week for 100s of plants to go in. And then it rained, a lot […]

A Story About… Life Experience

A Story About… Life Experience

Do you have a seemingly unconnected job in your past which has given you skills you use now?   After taking delivery of these beauties I am facing a weekend of revisiting a past career as a garden designer ????   ????And it got me […]

A Story About… Habits

A Story About… Habits

I have a habit of messing up taking videos of important stuff – as you can see from this clip of my daughter’s first ever rock step climb in Wales this weekend.

In my excitement I pressed the record button twice ???? I like to think this was a one off. But I also did it on my husband’s turn of the ascent ????????‍♀️

????What relevance does this have to you, you may wonder?

Well, habits can help or hinder us.

And we get to choose which ones we persevere with!

Mike Foster & I are collaborating on 4th May with our Habit Makers event. Our aim is to help you explore, develop and sustain those habits that help you in your business and personal life.

The Eventbrite link is live for more information and to book your place ???? I promise I won’t do any videoing ????


Contact me

A Story About… The Shed Social

A Story About… The Shed Social

A Story about … The Shed Social March’s Shed Social was epic ???? We got warm and cosy over Dr. Jenny Gordon fresh baked scones ???? and talked about so many things. Some work, some personal and some just plain funny ???? The Shed social has no […]

A Story About…CBA Days 2

A Story About…CBA Days 2

Do you get them? What do you do? For those of you not familiar with the term CBA stands for Can’t Be Arsed We all have those days, even people who seem to regularly have all their ducks in a row!   Some signs of […]

A Story about …CBA days

A Story about …CBA days

Do you get them? What do you do? ?

For those of you not familiar with the term CBA stands for Can’t Be Arsed

We all have those days, even people who seem to regularly have all their ducks in a row! ????

Some signs of a CBA day looming:

? Drained after a bad nights sleep
? Feeling under the weather, not quite right
? Family being more challenging than normal
☑️ To Do list is too long and too challenging
??‍♀️ Everything you touch seems to go wrong
? Get up and go seems to have got up and gone
? Exercise is not appealing.
?‍♀️ Teetering on the edge feels more like clinging on by your fingertips!

This time of year can trigger more of those CBA moments than normal with the unpredictable weather, the darkness and dreariness.

It can all seem too much. The desire to bin out and just hunker down under a blanket with a plateful of biscuits and hide from the world can be very strong! Or is that just me? ??‍♀️

Here’s how I manage a big case of the CBA’s.

I give it a score out of 10. And then take action accordingly.

?1-5 out of 10 – A mild CBA DAY

Often a mindset change can change the course of the day. So planning and actioning a few tiny steps can get me back on track

? Drink some water
? Take a walk
? 10mins sat quietly with no distractions
?‍♀️ A chat with a (supportive) friend
? A hug
✍️ Writing down the crap in my head
??‍♀️ Some gentle stretching
? The ritual of making a proper cup of tea (or coffee)
? A nap

And then moving on to something small and not arduous that will give me the feeling of achieving something that day.

✅ An easy item ticked off the To Do list
?? Some exercise – something that is enjoyable and not too challenging
? Clear some clutter

Action is so much easier to take once you start taking it. And the tiny steps create momentum to the small steps that then make the larger steps more manageable ??

?6-9 out of 10 – A medium CBA Day

These are the times when the overwhelm seems overwhelming! When the tears are right there waiting and the thoughts tend toward the negative and small things going wrong lead to end of the world despair!

These are the times I treat myself to permission to change the plan for the day.

Some things I do

✋?Give myself permission to not achieve
?Write the angst onto paper and burn it
?‍♀️Recognise that I am not superwoman
⏱Take the morning/afternoon/day off all non essentials
? Choose to do something that is comforting and nurturing and enjoy it with no guilt
? Hunt for and celebrate all and any positives and silver linings I can think of
? Stay away from media/news/challenging tv
?Decide what I want the next minute/hour/day to look and feel like
?Take the tiny/small actions that will help that happen
??Celebrate each and every step

CBA days can feel overwhelming.
But we can still choose how we act

What causes your CBA days? And what actions do you take?

?10 out of 10 – A High CBA day
These days are the days when just getting out of bed is too challenging.

Often I find these days are the days when the essential non avoidable adulting needs to be done by someone else.

These are the days, when if we force the issue and keep trying to drive forward will lead a CBA moment extending over a longer time frame.

These are what I class as emergency self care days.

How I deal with those days?
?Explain in as self supporting way as possible to those around me what is going on and how I am choosing to nurture myself
⏭Delegate, rearrange, cancel my diary for that day.
? Listen to my body and mind and only do the things that don’t challenge me.
?? Remind myself that it’s ok to not be ok
? Take myself out of my head (normally with a good book) to break the thought cycle
?Aim to bring the 10/10 down by 1 so I can move on to the middle actions.

A Story About … Sorting my own Sh!t

A Story About … Sorting my own Sh!t

Yes I have some. In fact quite a lot of ? Mostly it’s day to day ? A gorgeous but incontinent old spaniel surrounded by 3 other lively ones that are not careful where they run ? A close family who I support with their […]

It’s Story Time at The Southey Way

It’s Story Time at The Southey Way

Welcome to A Story With… As someone I have had conversations with, you probably know I’m a little ‘different’ When I was thinking about how to stay in touch with you, I looked for something different to do and A Story with… was born. I […]